Darn you shows and movies that involve travel.

I'm filled with such mixed emotions. A friend referred me to a documentary called, "Long Way Round." It is brilliant but there is one problem: I can't sleep. I'm filled with such excitement for adventure and to travel again that all I can think of is buying a ticket, hopping on a plane and going to who knows where. (In actuality, I would probably go to France to begin to walk the Camino through Spain and Portugal.)

I can't begin to tell you how it is almost a daily battle within myself of to stay or to go. To have a job or to travel around the world. To be with family and friends or to be video chatting across the globe. To be present for birthdays and holidays or to be making memories with families I create and find along the way.

I told myself I don't want to be the aunt that my nieces (and soon-to-be nephew) don't know. I want to be the cool aunt who they call at 3am when they went drinking underage and need someone to pick them up, no-questions asked. Yet, as my mom said (gawd, I hate how she is right sometimes,) "I think you find fulfillment in you going to so many different places." How right she is, how right she is. 

So I sit here with 47 days till my contract technically ends and I feel conflicted about what comes next. Currently I have this elaborate plan of coming home and taking odd jobs for about year before selling every last thing and jetting off to other countries. Can I sit still back home for a year? Can I be away from home in another country for an undetermined amount of time?

If I had a superpower, I would be able to instantly go to wherever I want with a blink of an eye.